one the best moments from the last 6 days (spent in byron bay with both astrid and my parents’) was to hear john hoffman and dick keys having what can only be called a limerick spar. spontaneously one morning after breakfast, john hoffman burst out with a bawdy catholic limerick. barely a breath afterwards dick keys retorted back with his own cheeky rhyme. and so they went tit for tat for 3 or 4 rounds, dredging up these lines from their memory to the great astonishment and appreciation of tricia, astrid and i. here are a selection of them:
john hoffman:
there once was a young parson called bings who talked of god and such things but his secret desire was a boy in the choir with a bottom like jelly on springs.
richard keys:
there was a young plumber from dee who was plumbing a maid by the sea said the maid “cease your plumbing i think someone’s coming” said the plumber, still plumbing “‘it’s me”
john hoffman
there was a young girl from bahrain who cocked her leg over a train the train gave a grunt and blew off her… hat now what do you think of that!
richard keys:
a pansy who lived in khartoum asked a lesbian up to his room and they argued a lot about who would do what and how, and with which, and to whom
john hoffman:
there was a young girl from azores who’s box was all covered with sores the dogs in the street would snap the green meat that hung in festoons from her drawers.
richard keys:
the limerick’s an art form complex much given to matter of sex it’s all about virgin’s and masculine urgins’ and vulgar erotic effects.
